Preparing for a life change often feels exciting when seen from a distance. As the time for the actual transition draws near it can seem scary, overwhelming, and can bring on second thoughts about your ability to handle something new, or regret about leaving a safe perch for the unknown.
This week I’m handing in my letter of resignation from the job as director of student counseling at a multi-cultural Caribbean medical school, which I’ve held for the past three years. I’ve loved my time here. I’ve been inspired by the commitment and fortitude of the students and gained in-depth knowledge about a wide range of cultural norms in countries from India to Iran. My colleagues are great, and they too have taught me about their cultures, shared their festivals, and fed me treats from home that were exotic and delicious.
But I have the kind of wanderlust that ironically leads me after a few years to say this is going so well, what’s next? Then I find myself unstoppable, like a train down the tracks, researching, reaching out to contacts, envisioning. And soon a new opportunity is on the table, sometimes several opportunities. I have a knack for creating work that propels me off to a new part of the world. I like routine, so being on the road has never suited me as well as moving somewhere new and settling in. I like to get to know the people who work and live in my neighborhood; I like to be known at our local go-to restaurant, chat with the green grocer, hear about the career dreams of the girl behind the bakery counter, and befriend my elder neighbors who appreciate a conversation or a cup of tea.
As a young person I had a conscious desire to be flexible and adaptive, and felt a need to include interactions with interesting strangers in my daily schedule even as a teenager. I wanted each day to hold some magic, and I still do. For me that magic comes through relationships and relating, by throwing oneself out into the world and being surprised by who you meet and what is learn from them.
I often feel the tension between being practical and living large; planning for the future while making the most of today. I pride myself on being responsible and dependable, but try not to let my passions be squelched in the process. Holding true to your own inner callings seems an inherently important part of well-being to me. After the strategizing, assessing and planning, beneath all the turmoil change can bring, comes a bittersweet leaving with the weight of choosing change, and the lightness of limbo while traveling from one reality to another.